THE VAGINAL ORGASM. IS IT REAL?

A few days ago I was having a conversation with one of my close girlfriends, and our conversation happened to touch on the topic of orgasms (the female kind obviously). At one point in the conversation I asked her about “vaginal orgasms” (orgasms reached through vaginal stimulation) and how often she has them during sex. I have had only 2 myself, maybe 3, my entire life. She claimed to never have had one at all. According to her, she’s only ever been able to orgasm through direct stimulation of her clitoris.

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This perplexed me. Because I have definitely experienced different orgasms. And the orgasm I get through just playing with my clitoris always felt like a lower level orgasm in comparison to the life- changing orgasms I’ve experienced (rare as they were) when my “G-spot” (inside my vagina) was engaged as well.

When I had a similar conversation with another close friend, she however assured me she has “vaginal” orgasms all the time. This really confused me, so I decided to dig deeper. 

Turns out science and society are really divided on the subject too. And no one seems to have any clear answer to the question of whether vaginal orgasms actually exist on their own, separate from the more common, clitoral orgasm. I quickly realized how much of a hot topic this actually still is, and how many different positions there are on the subject.

I read outspoken feminist, Anne Koedt’s famed essay, The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm  where she uses some strongly worded facts to state the claim that vaginal orgasms do not exist, and any woman who believes in it falls victim to the patriarchal norms of society. In other words, these women are faking it.

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She makes her position clear, alleging that all orgasms are clitoral, and no woman can reach orgasm through friction inside of her vagina. That’s how men reach orgasm, not women, implying that sex for a female’s pleasure looks way different than our conventional idea of sex.

She criticizes mainstream media and porn for this misunderstanding, since according to her theory, pounding into a vagina won’t ever get a woman to cum. This position seems even more interesting to me, because if true, it would also answer the age old question: does size matter? If vaginal orgasms don’t exist as Koedt believes, then the size of the penis involved wouldn’t really affect anything. If she’s right, size doesn’t matter at all.

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In 2011,  an fMRI study of female orgasms proved that stimulation of the cervix, clitoris, and vagina activated several different pleasure pathways in the brain. These findings further motivated me to come up with an alternate theory concerning the existence of vaginal orgasms. I think there’s a grey area that’s not being addressed.

I KNOW I have experienced these orgasms that are significantly different and deeper, than the orgasm I feel when just my clitoris is stimulated. I believe once the clitoral nerves are activated, if you continue to stimulate the clitoris, while adding the right amount of pressure on the right spot, inside the vagina, you’ll get those elusive life-changing, mind numbing, orgasms. But these are rare. Why rare?

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I think it’s because we need to simultaneously stimulate the clitoris and its enhancer (the coveted G spot). I believe the G spot isn’t always present, depending on whether the clitoris has been stimulated properly. Essentially, the clitoris can work on its own, but the G spot can not. The G spot enhances the effects of the orgasm that originates in the clitoris.

I believe comfortability and state of mind also play a part in the presence of the G spot. I know my vagina literally opens in ways it wouldn’t otherwise, when I’m really into the sex, and my brain manages to shut off. I know there’s a physical numbness that really does occur when I unlock these next level orgasms, and I believe mental state has to do with the presence of the G spot when this happens. This numbness that spreads across my entire body does not exist when only my clitoris is engaged (for example, through oral sex).

So how do you get these next level orgasms?

After some research (some reading, some physical) I think we definitely have to ditch the notion that we can reach an orgasm just by  jamming a penis in and out of a vagina. It’s just not going to happen, so you can stop working yourself up over it. Or worse...faking it.

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However, I also feel that if you’re just focusing on your clitoris, you’re definitely depriving yourself of those life-changing, next-level orgasms.

I think the best way to achieve these next-level orgasms is to accept that the clitoris is the pleasure center of the woman, so it should be stimulated throughout the entire experience, not just to get her going during foreplay.

I also think porn and mainstream media need a reality check. There’s a reason women don’t watch porn. We don’t find a man pounding into a woman hot, because it’s not what gets us off in real life.

Riding, girl on top is a better example of the type of sex that will cater to a woman’s deepest possible orgasm. This position makes it rather easy to modify your pelvic angles for maximum friction in the clitoral hood. This position also allows a woman more control of where the penis exerts its pressure in the vagina. In this way, it becomes more probable that you’ll achieve a life-changing orgasm.

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Also, I do think size matters. I have to mention this because it adds to my point, that women do, to some extent get pleasure through vaginal stimulation. I think pressure on the G spot enhances the pleasure initiated through clitoral friction. The more pressure, on the right spot, the better the orgasm. Bigger penises have a higher probability of exerting more pressure in the right place than a smaller one can, which is why women pine for men with bigger penises. A smaller one can get the job done, but I think they have to work a little harder.

So, essentially I believe that with the right amount of pressure inside the vagina, coupled with friction on the clitoris, and the right state of mind, these next-level orgasms can be achieved by any woman.

I definitely think sex for female pleasure is misrepresented in the media and underrated. I think men give themselves too much credit for their aimless pounding. No, that will not alone will not make her cum, and rubbing a clitoris alone might give her an orgasm, but it won’t be a life-changing orgasm.

There’s levels to this shit.

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